Couples Therapy

When is communication between partners inadequate? If, after a conversation, you feel downcast, unheard, overlooked, or misunderstood. Do you feel attacked during a discussion with your partner? All these signs indicate that communication is inadequate, negatively impacting your relationship and intensifying negative feelings.

Relationships between partners sometimes encounter very challenging situations, conflicts deepen, and solutions become increasingly distant. In such cases, the assistance of a professional is very welcome.

Couples therapy differs from individual psychotherapy in that both partners attend therapy with the psychotherapist simultaneously. Sessions with the psychotherapist usually occur once a week, on the same day each week and at a consistent time. The sessions last for 90 minutes. The number of sessions depends on each individual couple and their issues. You can conclude therapy at any time or resume it later.

My partner rejects couples therapy and doesn't want to attend it.

It often happens that only one of the partners perceives dissatisfaction and problems and wants to resolve them with external, independent help, while the other partner resists. This is a common situation among many couples seeking help. It is possible for only one of the partners to start psychotherapy. The partners, along with the psychotherapist, focus on their relationship and explore all the possibilities for one partner to contribute to changes and improvements. It often occurs that the other partner reconsiders and decides to attend therapy as well.

Psychotherapy and its Myths

In many countries, attending psychotherapy is quite common. Engaging in psychotherapy is a sign of taking responsibility toward oneself and interpersonal relationships with others. But some individuals still have some reservations when it comes to attending psychotherapy. The most common fears and taboos associated with this are the following:

• Psychotherapy is only for "crazy" people.
• Needing psychotherapy means you are weak.
• Talking to a friend is just as good as talking to a therapist.
• Problems can be overcome by an individual if they are persistent and positive.
• You pay the therapist to listen to your complaints.
• The therapist will attribute the causes of all problems to parents or childhood traumas.
• Therapy needs to be attended for several years.

Couples therapy is a safe and structured method.

In therapy, partners work on:

• Communication skills,
• Building a better relationship,
• Effectively resolving conflicts, 
• Deepening mutual understanding and connection.

The psychotherapist helps partners:

• Understand and change behavioral patterns and beliefs,
• Encourage changes,
• Find appropriate and most effective solutions.

 

Which Challenges Can We Encounter Living Together With a Partner

Throughout different life stages, we encounter various trials. Every partnership can reach a point where communication falters and satisfaction with the relationship diminishes.

Some of the most significant challenges in partnerships are:

1. Negative, ineffective, or even absent communication
Partners increasingly withdraw into themselves, their work, sitting in front of the TV, or computer screen. At home, it's silent, and they are not interested in mutual conversation. If they do talk, it's about children and household matters. If one partner wants to talk about problems and their relationship, the other avoids and withdraws from the conversation or engages in a heated argument. Insults, humiliation, and verbal abuse may become commonplace. Feelings of dissatisfaction, bitterness, and distrust grow day by day.

2. Issues in intimate relationships

If the relationship between partners resembles more of a relationship between two roommates, with no touching, kissing, or intimacy, it can lead to the breakdown of the relationship. In every relationship, there are periods when more time is devoted to intimacy, as well as periods when there is none, or neither partner feels the need for it. If both or one of the partners does not feel fulfilled in this area, it inevitably leads to deepening problems and the risk of relationship breakdown or separation.

3. Infidelity

Intimacy outside of marriage is a clear sign that partners are facing problems. Infidelity destroys a partnership.

4. Empty nest syndrome

For many years, daily family life revolves around children, their upbringing, organizing family time, and life. Then, with the departure of children from home, all this ends. This state is called the "empty nest syndrome". Some feel new satisfaction knowing they can devote more time to themselves, their hobbies, and their partners. Others, amidst all the new free time, feel lost, unnecessary, and confused. They realize they no longer know how to live with their partner without children. Therefore, it is necessary to set new goals and desires as soon as possible, dedicating time and energy to them.

How Couples Therapy Works

During the initial introductory meeting with the psychotherapist, both partners come together. This is an opportunity for the psychotherapist to get acquainted with the couple and their issue for which they have decided to seek professional help. At the same time, the couple gets to know the therapist, their approach, and assess whether they would be the most suitable choice for them. During the first meeting, you also discuss your expectations and goals for the psychotherapeutic process. The psychotherapist may suggest meeting with only one of the partners at some sessions. During this meeting, you decide which content will remain only between you and the therapist and which will be part of later joint discussions. However, the majority of the sessions will involve both partners attending therapy together.

Couples therapy typically lasts one hour or an hour and a half (verify with your selected psychotherapist).